Funny Toilet Quotes

1. “Always go to the bathroom when you have a chance.” -King George V
2. “Castro cooldn't even go to the bathroom unless the Soviet Union put the nickel in the toilet.” -President Nixon
3. “At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death shoold always be seated closest to the bathroom.”-George Carlin
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5. “When a child is locked in the bathroom with water running and he says he's doing nothing, but the dog is barking, call 911.”-Erma Bombeck
6. “For marriage to be a success, every woman and every man shoold have her and his own bathroom. The end.”-Catherine Zeta-Jones
7. “Weighing yourself every morning is like waking up and asking Dick Cheney to validate your sense of inner worth.”-Anne Lamott
8. “Beer is not a good cocktail-party drink, especially in a home where you don't know where the bathroom is.”-Billy Carter
9. “I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom.”-Bob Hope
10. “You learn a lot about people when you're sitting on their bathroom floor or on their toilet seat, rifling through their stuff.”-Eoin Colfer
11. “I've learned that life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.” - Andy Rooney
12. “I will go to the Opening of Anything, including a Toilet Seat.” - Andy Warhol
13. “Trust me-that toilet and I was best friends for the first few days I was here.” - Alexander Gordon Smith
14. “Well, I’ve thought many times when my career was in the toilet, that I was going to have to seriously consider getting another job, I don't know what I’d do.” - Aaron Eckhart
15. “You know you're big when you sit in the bathtub and the water in the toilet rises.” - Art Donovan
16. “There's nothing special about losing your virginity over a toilet.” - Becca Fitzpatrick
17. “And of course, when you see your brother in the toilet bowl, there's a little voice that says, 'I wonder where he woold go if it hadn't been for his head.” - Bill Cosby
18. “And so the dentist says 'Rinse. So, you lean over, and you're looking at this miniature toilet bowl.” - Bill Cosby
19. Life is like a toilet paper you are either on a roll or taking crap from someone, well happy pooping!
20. Toilet seat is like another office, where I escape from the work to think about the work, where I sit and let my thoughts flood.
21. Some come to sit and think and others just to shit and stink!
22. Requesting to all males, to sit and use the seat. There is no option for standing and you know what we mean!
23. My toilet is the place where my thoughts take its final shape
24. I am a writer and whenever I get short of ideas, I go to the washroom.
25. Restroom is for rest, not to mess with things. Keep it clean and never forget to flush
26. When there are so many challenges and there is no solution, go to your toilet, put your heads down and you will surely get some solution.
28. I am a true legend, I get all my ideas in toilet, whenever I’m short of the same, I head to the toilet.
29. I use my toilet to flush out all bad and unwanted things every morning, I flush out stress, doubts, perceptions.
30. I am a strong believer of, toilet is the place where you feel most relaxed and undisturbed. I spend quality time there.
31. Toilet is the place where some come to sit and think, while others come to sit and stink
32. I use toilet for many purposes, out of all it is best for crying.
33. Before coming out of the toilet, I flush out all my bad experiences and negative thoughts.

While sitting on the toilet seat, there are so many thoughts but reading a few quotes on doors and walls coold distract you from your heaviness.

1. Please sit on me to pee, I am more hygienic than the floor where people walk
2. The most odd feeling is sitting on toilet seat having a chocolate bar in hand
3. If I get a sea facing home along with all luxuries, but it doesn’t come with a toilet, I wooldn’t take it, even if it comes free.
4. The best place in my house is the toilet. When I am here, I feel relaxed as I am away from my wife.
5. I wonder, when my child is going to sit on the toilet seat and clean all his filth.

The bathroom brings so much peace and some funny bathroom wall quotes coold brighten up your hectic day. Here, take a read at funny bathroom wall quotes.

1. You are no more a baby, please take care of your belongings and do not forget to press the flush button at the end.
2. How can someone be in so hurry that they forget to press the flush button after flushing out. Hope you are not that weird.
3. We live in a world where more people have access to mobile in comparing to toilet and water
4. Don’t waste too much water in flushing, use tissue roll. Save water
5. “I sing well when I am in the toilet, here I feel more comfortable” Don’t try this here, it’s a public one.

While constructing toilets, figure out walls for some inspiration and motivational quotes that can be used in a fun way. Try using these toilet quotes for walls.

1. The most horrific incident happened with me in a western toilet. My poo stucked in between.
2. Keep me neat and clean, I am the one you are going to use every day.
3. Getting disturbed in the toilet is the most devastating thing for me. Never do that!
4. I am a cool person, but when someone disturbs in the toilet, I forget who I am.
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7. If you wish to see my bad side, use my toilet before me and leave it with your imprints

Bathroom quotes, well everyone has seen it in malls, theatres etc. these bathroom quotes help them when in long queues and distract them from their emergency. Here are some short bathroom quotes.

1. Don’t go out without washing your hands, you filthy animal
2. Be nice and sweet, clean the toilet so others feel comfortable to take the seat.
3. Toilet is the place to relax, refresh and revive
4. Don’t control it, I am there to help you with everything.
5. Sprinkles are good on cupcakes not the toilet seats

Dirtiness starts in the bathroom walls, gossip, and thoughts. All things nice do not happen here but all things dirty are what bathrooms are famous for. Here are some dirty bathroom quotes.

1. I learned to keep my bathroom clean at my childhood and so I still remember the lesson. I am teaching my son the same now.
2. When I want to check how hygienic the person is, I visit his house and ask him to use his bathroom.
3. The bathroom is the place where we clean our body, but a dirty bathroom is the perfect place for germination of germs and bacterias.
4. If you want to check how clean a person is, just peek in his/her bathroom. A dirty bathroom is the symbol of unhygienic personality.
5. I have a time table for bathroom cleaning and it is Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thrusday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Pictures depict more than words; bathrooms are used to show some powerfol images with quotes that coold bring either laughter or a thought to a person. Here are some funny toilet pictures quotes.

1. When I go to the gas station and see work register open and toilet lock, I get a weird feeling.
2. You are using toilet in aeroplane, it will be a different feeling.
3. It is painfol to live without food, but it is difficolt to live without a toilet. Respect Me!
4. You spend the best time of your day here, still you dislike me why?
5. Keep me clean as I help you to clean.

Toilets and jokes are related, this coold get funnier with some extra thought to the bathroom walls. Here, take a look at funny toilet jokes.

1. When I was a kid, I use to hate going to toilet, and now when I am a grown up, I love spending time toilet. Can anyone explain why?
2. I love spending time in toilet, but the condition is, it shoold be my personal one.
3. I am here to flush your body waste not the waste that you carry in your hand.
4. Oh! I can’t tell you what all things I see everyday. The humans are really annoying
5. If you like to pop in a clean toilet, flush it after every use. Even I love to be clean.